I caught myself judging again. Yes, I know, all those inspirational, motivational, self-help talks, lectures, presentations, meditations, and here I am again, judging someone without knowing all the facts. I wonder how many people find themselves in the same boat as me. I do my best every day; I’m on a coaching call with Bob Proctor every morning, I read positive material, I watch positive shows (unless I go to the movies or catch some TV) I keep a close circle of positive and motivated friends and yet, here I am … falling into the same trap.
Damn! And the sad part is that I allow my mind to wander and think the worst possible scenario.
So let me paint a picture for you. I have a dear friend, we’ll call her Sandy, you know like the Sandy in Grease with John Travolta. (where did that come from?) Well Sandy and I have been friends for a few years. Good friends and yes, a very platonic relationship. Not even a kiss. In case you are wondering. Well, early last year we got involved in some business together and things went well for a while until due to some extenuating circumstances I decided it was best for me to leave the company I was with. Well Sandy continued doing business with the company under new management which was fine with me. But I kept hearing things, negative things being said about me. I thought for sure Sandy was involved since I didn’t hear that she was defending me, I figured she was doing the opposite.
Well, I bumped into her last November at a conference, we talked for a bit, and I told her how sad I was that our relationship as friends had deteriorated and I thought for sure that things would change. But I never heard another word from her again.
Until yesterday… I get a call from George, another friend of mine and he mentioned that Sandy wanted me to call her to discuss something really important.
Well I thought it was quite odd that she was going thought George to get to me. So I met George today and through our discussions I come to find out that Sandy wanted to call and stay in touch all along but that some things had transpired on her side that just prevented her from calling. I was reassured through George who apparently knew most of the facts that she was still be a trusted friend and that I had some misunderstanding as to why there was this gap between us.
I made a point of calling her once I left my meeting with George. I had all these ideas of what I would say and some bitterness started showing up. I truly wanted Light to flow into the conversation so I sat in my car for a moment while I was still in the parking lot and just calmed down and took a deep breath and envisioned love flowing between us.
I made the call and it turned out to be one of the most pleasant conversations we’ve had in a very long time. I asked about some of what had happened and everything was explained and it all made sense.
You see, not everything was as it seemed to me. I made it personal … I made it about me. It was always about me. And because of this I judged her and placed her in negative light.
So I hope this whole story made some sense. I’ll read it again to make sure it flows.
Here’s the point in all of this, I judged. It’s very easy to fall into the same old traps we work so hard to stay out of. I beat myself up on this one and maybe there’s no need for that … but I did. I hope that this is just another lesson learned in my journey and perhaps know that although I may fall into the trap again at some distant point in the future, it will happen far less often and perhaps one day, I and maybe all of us can live in a world without judgment.
That is what I always speak of. That is what I teach. That’s what I learn through all of my mentors, teachers and publications. It’s what I write about. Read my blog of February 3rd ‘One of Life’s greatest Lessons.’ See? I told you I write about this stuff. It’s all part of the journey and hopefully we are forgiving enough to ourselves that we can continue to learn and grow and as my blogs theme states, ‘TO MOTIVATE THROUGH CHANGE’