I grew up on the city. Not this city, mine was a bit smaller. Yes, I feel like I owned it back then. And yet as I sit here and enjoy my Starbucks cappuccino I can’t help but feel intimidated by this monster of a city. Yes, New York (pronounced Nu Yoak).

I took some time this morning to sit outside and watch. What the hell is there to watch? OMG, the city! … Watch the city be alive and the people move and do what they do.

Like the two sexy women waiting on the side of the road for a cab with their designer sunglasses that cover the upper part of their face.  (Who decided that sunglasses that covered your face became fashionable?) The louder than needed woman on the phone using her hands to express her disgruntle about some event the night before. The lonely elderly woman sitting in the park bench reading a newspaper. The Asian couple who looked like tourists as they clung to each other while they too sat on the opposite side of the street on the bench enjoying their coffees. The business owners standing outside of their businesses waiting for the next customer or just someone they knew so they can strike up a conversation and talk about the elections or the events of 9/11. The smell of diesel fumes that permeated from time to time that instantly brought me back to my time growing up in the city in Italy. And all the endless construction noise and workers. God they are loud. Toss in the sirens from fire trucks, ambulances and the NYPD … And Holy crap … Yes, what can I say, that’s New York.

Life in the city. I feel like I don’t belong. It’s exciting in some ways and yet too fast and crazy in others. I fantasize about living in New York. Hmm, a nice loft in the heart of the Upper West Side or SoHo … but the fantasy lasts for just a minute. I can’t live here.   Maybe I feel like no one will notice me. Or care if anything happened to me. Maybe I feel lost because I become so insignificant in the majestic and monstrous size of a city that for a guy like me who likes the attention just won’t get any here. (Wow, Is that my ego talking?)

Or not. Either way, I think I’ll leave the city life to the folks that can enjoy it and thrive on it. I’ll continue visiting when I can and be the tourist that is fascinated by the life, the vibrancy, the lights and the culture of New York.

God I Love New York.