Foreigner said it best with their hit single, “I Want to Know What Love Is”. It has alluded us as a human species and it seems we all seek it even when it seemingly stands right before us. I don’t know if at my age I have figured it out. It’s all based on a feeling. Emotions mixed with melancholy, and a soulful deep-seated feeling of contentment and sadness all at the same time. It’s regretting the misses in my life and also the joyful feeling of knowing I did well, and yet I am alone.
The pendulum swings from one side to the other
It’s the kisses I wish I could relive. The mistakes I wish I could take back. The piercing look into a woman’s eyes that say a million things with just that one glance and know. Yes, KNOW this is connectedness. The love letters I wrote but never heard back. The poems that flow through my mind but too afraid to share.
That first kiss when you know the energy is there and a swelling of emotion that says this is good but there’s more. When you embrace for the first time and your foreheads touch knowing there is something special here. When you have to leave but never want to go. When sitting at home one night you hear a musical score from Cinema Paradiso and it brings tears to your eyes.
Yes, that is love. A never-ending story that once latched on to your heart can be the ride of a lifetime. The dream of seeing myself getting older and holding her hand as we walk the streets of Rome or Verona and feel the connection flow through our hands to lighten our load. Where hours seem like mere minutes … the timeless friend that will always be there.
The love that transcends from a parent to a child that evolves into a gift you can only share so deeply with one person that you spend a lifetime looking for the right fit.
Yes, perhaps I am a tad too romantic at heart for our day and age and not willing to give up on love to the point where I will keep searching and maybe fumbling my way through and perhaps I may end up in my grave not having experienced what I believe can be achieved and yet, I will not give up.
I believe that if two people love each other that deeply, are that connected, it will transcend time and nothing in this world will matter. The feeling is as if I know she is there, but I cannot see her. I do see her silhouette by my side pushing me forward, being my anchor knowing that we have unshakable trust and a love that will not be shattered not even by death.
This my friends is love and romance. Wanting to buy flowers and bring them home and go for walks and talk about nothing at all or remain silent and know that we speak volumes even with the quietness of our minds. Laughing at the silliness and petty things of life. Seeing her as we sit at a café in Italy enjoying a glass of wine and talking about our experiences of the day. My dreamy state of mind.
Yes, I’ve had bits and pieces of all this from different loves in my life and I am grateful for all of it, but none has come together to be all one. There is no pressure because true love is effortless and when two souls come together in the purest form of love and acceptance, there is no trying to please one another and contriving or hidden agendas, it is pure and uncontaminated, regardless of our past.
So I wait … and my heart sings my songs waiting for her to hear me and join in our tune … soon … here’s to love …
Ti sogno spesso amante sconosciuta
Non cedo, non c’è tempo scaduto
Quando prendo la tua mano
Mi sento perso in un mar lontano
Guardare il tuo viso
Porta sempre un sorriso
Un bacio sulle labbra
Un sogno mi sembra
Dove sei? Esisti davvero?
Senza te mi sento perso invero
Un giorno arriverai
Pazienza anima mia
Arriverà e finirà quest’agonia