On September 13, the anniversary of Laura’s passing, I reposted a memory offered up by Facebook that included a photo of Laura on a trip to Italy. The number of comments received on that post was incredible. All of which were sincerely appreciated. It made me pause and think about how I was honoring her memory. As I sat and thought about it, this is what came to me.
Laura had a good life. Yes, it was far too short and what happened to her should not happen to anyone, especially children. They are golden. But what can I or we take away from her passing? Nothing can ever justify in my mind the loss. There are many ways to learn lessons and less painful ways to teach them. But if we were to stop and look at the significance of what she went through, how things transpired, especially towards the final days of her life, maybe we can find something to hold on to.
I did. I had to. It was the only way I could get past the loss and the pain associated with it.
Life is fragile. We are given these temples (the human body) to house our souls and take us on a journey here on planet earth so we can experience all of the things we encounter on a day to day basis. This includes the joy, bliss, happiness along with the pain, sorrow, and agony of loss. Like a tree, as it grows and reaches out to the limitless sky, so do its roots, simultaneously, dig deep into the dark depths of the earth to support the growth and balance the tree. Both are needed
You cannot know light unless you know darkness.
This is from a quote by Osho: “Sadness gives depth. Happiness gives height. Sadness gives roots. Happiness gives branches. Happiness is like a tree going into the sky, and sadness is like the roots going down into the womb of the earth. Both are needed, and the higher a tree goes, the deeper it goes, simultaneously. The bigger the tree, the bigger will be its roots. In fact, it is always in proportion. That’s its balance.”
This is so true of life. Everything happens in balance. We need to find that balance in our lives. I/we need to get back to what is truly important in life and what really and deeply matters.
What matters most to me? How can we show each other that we all matter to each other?
Example: I see this happen often (and I include myself in this because I fall into this trap); we go out to dinner or a special event and we bring our closest friends and family with us – every time! Not physically but with our electronic devices. We text more than we communicate verbally. We may be with our children, but they are busy on their phones and we are busy ignoring them because it’s easier. Or, we are in the middle of a conversation and our phone beeps and we pick it up having no regard for the conversation we are in.
Example: We are running late to meet our family and we take that last phone call even though it cuts into our personal time with our child or wife or parent because we have been conditioned that this is what’s important. Is it really?
Example: We visit when we hear of someone being ill. Why not visit when they’re healthy? How often do we hear at a funeral, “I had no idea he/she was not well”. How many times have we wished we would have made that extra effort to be with someone but did nothing?
This may be a quote by David Rubenstein (I’ve heard others mention it) “What do most people say on their deathbed? They don’t say, ‘I wish I’d made more money.’ What they say is, ‘I wish I’d spent more time with my family and done more for society or my community.’”
I’ve had and live with my regrets. It’s not easy. The best I can do is make a difference with what I have now. We are all here. Living, breathing, conscious, aware. Let’s choose now to make a difference. Set a new course. Find what truly matters in life and do it or make it happen. Make a difference in someone else’s life. Find that balance that allows for healthy relationships and fosters love with everyone wound us.
Laura’s passing was significant and can only mean something if it changes who I am or who we are now that we know. Make it count. Be aware. Do not let her passing or anyone else’s passing be any less significant. See it as a reminder to live life and make the most of this time we have together.
Live abundantly with love.